Guidelines for Web Designers

It has come to our attention that there are still some people who have failed to grasp the nettle (or is that Nettlescape?) and are creating web pages that look like this one.

How droll.
How sad.

Here are some guidelines to help you avoid that.

Well, there's more — more advanced techniques — but we'll take a break here.

Well now...

Why would you want to go to the trouble of following these guidelines?

Oh yes...
There's one more category of person who will be duly impressed with your efforts. This type of person lives in a log cabin at the end of a dirt lane in the hills with a hand pump, wood heat, outhouse, eleven computers and a small but lovely machine shop. He has Ph.D. in somthing you think of, erroneously, as "rocket science". He will scrutinize your work in detail and at length. He will savour it. He will drive his Jeep into town and and make purchases. He will labor over a token of appreciation. He will send you a lovingly crafted and carefully wrapped copy of his manifesto. An anonymous, leather-bound copy. Page 9 will be smeared with a neurotoxic organophosphate compound. Page 51 will be impregnated with a home-grown culture of ebola. Pages 106-110 will be printed on sheets of Semtex and what looks like a spill stain will be a remarkably clever detonator made from lemon Jell-O and a 1943 zinc penny. He will sleep the sleep of the just and giggle in his dreams.

But don't think about that....

Resident Alien is an occasional publication of the Bridgewater Institute for Advanced Study. It appears variously in electronic, paper and other formats such as serial gummed labels.